Hi guys! So my name’s Toby (although it’s not actually Toby, that’s my middle name and my real first name is Ben 👍 ). I’m 28 and Live in Chester, originally from Saltaire, Yorkshire. I’ve worked in Internal Banking since I’ve left Uni (after doing a degree in German, because obviously that’s the logical step haha), and although I’m happy and content there, I’m currently taking the long process/steps to follow my real passion, tattooing!
How did you first find out about Mantality?
I was aware of Mantality from the get-go through Stevie and the Rhinos to be honest. I don’t drive and have a 45-minute walk to work each day (which I actually love), and so the original podcasts were prime walking to work material
Why did you decide to join the Mantality Club?
So from growing up, I’ve had a number of mental battles to work through/ with. PMA, being the best me, and always looking to develop has helped me a lot here. But this year my family suffered a truly horrible double tragedy and it shook everything I believed in and cared about. I was really, really struggling, but luckily have some amazing people around me who have picked me up, are (still!) seeing me through, and they actually put me in contact with Stevie and the club. So grateful to everyone at every part of that, to be honest!
How has the Club helped you?
So I’ve obviously only been a part of it a very short time. But I really struggle with opening up to family and close friends due to wanting to be strong for them, feeling a burden etc. Even something as simple as typing things out into a WhatsApp group really helps me understand things, accept things, and in turn then work with them. I’m really upbeat about becoming a part of this team.
What has been your favourite podcast so far and why?
It’s quite hard to just pick one, to be honest! I’ll probably say the early one with Paul Wood and Craig White. I went through a very similar situation in beginning that particular chapter of my life in Chester and ended up very depressed and never properly addressing the issue. It was actually one the sparks for me beginning meditation too, so I can’t thank it enough!
Who would be the dream guest on the podcast and why?
Really so many of my dream guests have already been (and are already currently being 👀) done! Being a little lad (5’7) who’s played rugby from a young age, I have to Say RB7, he has always been my hero, even before the current circumstances. Matt Haig too. If you’re not onto him yet, I really recommend. A truly brilliant wordsmith who’s been through what so many of us will have been, and has a uniquely mesmerising way of putting it into word.
How do you think your mental health and mindset has an impact on your life?
It shapes it. 100%. The biggest thing for me is shaping the day, setting it off right. I fully understand meditation isn’t for everyone but personally for me it gives me a clear and collected head to kick things off, as well as a sense of achievement and self-care first thing. For me, mindset and mental health affect how I treat others, so for a long time, I’ve been working on taking time to step back/ analyse.
How has this developed over the years?
I found that when I wasn’t particularly mentally strong, I would do whatever it took to cover that up. Be that lashing out, last minute cancellations, so many knee jerk reactions. Things like the meditation now set my day off right. But allowing myself time to process things and make rational decisions is huge now too. Actively listening is such an under appreciated skill, and the well thought out reply will have so much more lasting meaning (hopefully) than the quickest one.
What other things would you like to see from Mantality?
I think more stuff down the events path would be great! The content is second to none and in a very digital world, I think that’s where the focus has rightly been. There’s something truly lasting about being with someone in an auditorium or at a convention though. Another great way of bringing people together too 😌.