You could say I come from a pretty adverse background:
My father was not only abusive but also rarely present during my upbringing. My nan and mother shared a love for alcoholism. Between my step-father cheating and my nan passing, this became increasingly worse throughout my teens.
At 15 we discovered my step-father had cheated on my mother. This resulted in a total malfunction of my entire family dynamics and to this day we are still repairing our once together family.
At the same time my girlfriend had become pregnant with our first of three children. This resulted in 5 years of an on/off relationship which ultimately severed any personal ties I had to anyone. Lost and alone I ended up homeless desperately looking for absolution for all the wrongs I’d ever committed to result in my children’s mother cheating on me, for the deaths of so many close friends and the divide amongst my family.
During my uphill struggle to repent my previous mistakes, I was pushed out of a rewarding job due to a false accusation of rape. This was around the same time my 2 year old son was diagnosed with Neuroblastoma (a vicious and rare child cancer).
During this time I’d fallen in love with an amazing woman, she inspired me to better myself as a person and then I lost her. This all came about not long after my cancer-battling son passed away.
There have been plenty of other downhill experiences I could tell you about but this isn’t a story about the things that made me weak or vulnerable, that made me fall or pushed me to a brink that made me question the purpose of my life. No, this is far more a tale of how I overcame these struggles to become a thriving human being, loving life, loving people exploring the world, inspiring others, living life to the fullest and appreciating everything beautiful in the world.
There’s always 1 question I can guarantee someone will ask me when they first meet me…
Whether I’m talking about my general upbringing, homelessness or how I deal with the loss of my son; people always ask me 1 question without fail……
“How do you do it?”.
My response is pretty simple…
there is always someone worse off than me (and this goes for dealing with any of my problems) yes, losing Sam is one of the most tragic life events I’ve ever experienced but someone somewhere else has it much worse than what I do. Look back to my post about “the 5 daily gratitudes” and apply that here.
I’m grateful that we even had Sam in the first place.
I’m grateful that when he got sick there was treatment for him and he had a fighting chance.
I’m grateful for the NHS staff and the staff at Naomi’s House and Jack’s Place who were around to help care for him and make him smile.
I’m grateful for all my friends gathering together to raise money so he could go to Disneyland and have an amazing life.
I’m grateful that I got time to say goodbye to him.
None of this makes it any easier but sometimes you’ve just gotta be grateful it isn’t worse.
Let’s look at those 5 things and think about how much worse it could’ve been in reverse.
Some people never get to meet their child. Some countries don’t have treatment for cancer or even basic medical needs. Some countries don’t have the support system we have here to help sick children. Some people are completely alone in their struggle or worse, they’re surrounded by toxic people. Some people never got to say goodbye to their children (just look at the most recent incident in Manchester).
So there you go, it can always be worse. If you think your problems are too big for you right now take a step back and ask yourself “how could it be worse“, then just be grateful it isn’t. And, if you think you’ve hit rock bottom and life couldn’t be any worse than what it is be grateful, because the only way is up.
If that’s true, you literally have nothing to lose, you can take any risk and not have to worry about the consequence.
Don’t wait for the storm to pass. Instead, learn to dance in the rain
Sam role modelling how to dance in the rain
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